


Enough

by jellybears



Category: Saw (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Forehead Touching, M/M, Prosthesis, Short, adam is a ghost
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-12 17:22:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28764009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jellybears/pseuds/jellybears
Summary: Adam has had enough of Lawrence blaming himself.
Relationships: Adam Faulkner-Stanheight/Lawrence Gordon
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	Enough

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first saw fanfiction, i think i got dragged into the fandom these past couple days, i watched the first saw movie twice this month (watched it again the other night) and i can't get enough of adam and lawrence,,
> 
> i really want to watch the other movies, and i will soon hopefully
> 
> i'm sorry if anyone is OOC, i tried! also sorry if this isn't that good i haven't written fanfiction or anything for that matter in a while

Watching the blonde doctor sit at the top of the bed reading a book, Adam stretched from his spot, which was at the bottom. He intensely watched him, and stopped staring once Lawrence suddenly looked up from his story, looking around the room with a raised eyebrow. Adam sighed, leaning back on his hands. He couldn’t keep his eyes off of him, even when the two of them were chained up to pipes like dogs. He hated how this guy couldn’t see him, yet Adam could see him. Adam always knew he was staring too much or too hard when the elder looked up from whatever he was doing, and even the slightest touch made him twitch. Of course, it wasn’t Adam’s intention to scare him, and it comforted him a bit that Lawrence could feel his eyes on him or whenever he poked him, it made Adam feel physical, it made him feel alive. Well, until Lawrence brushed it off and went back to his activity. Even so, Adam still loved the feeling.  
  


He’d been watching over Lawrence ever since the man was put in the hospital and ever since he left it. He’d watched the divorce between Lawrence and Alison, he’d watched over Diana whenever she came over to Lawrence’s apartment, he’d seen it all, and it hurt to watch all these events happen, but there was nothing he could do about it.  
  


It was funny how Diana could see him, but nobody else could. He’d talk to her, play with her, and watch her while she slept. He protected her while she slept, making sure nobody would ever hurt her again. It was great that one person could see him at least.  
  


Of course, even as a dead man, he still couldn’t escape the memories of the bathroom. They still plagued his mind from time to time, nearly causing him to have a breakdown. No tears ever did come though, it was as if he’d cried them all, only choked sobs came from the man’s throat. He tried his hardest to not let his mind linger on that filthy goddamn bathroom, attempting to distract himself from these intruding thoughts by watching Lawrence do his daily activities or watching the television whenever said man forgot to turn it off before leaving for work. Nothing good was ever on when Adam switched through the channels, so he’d go back to what his friend had left on it. It was just a channel dedicated to a twenty-four hour marathon of old, shitty comedy movies. An old man had to get a laugh somehow, right? Adam couldn’t stand movies like this, they were all boring to him. Whenever the old man came home, he always called himself an idiot for leaving the television on, before shaking his head and turning it off. Adam would get up from the couch, following him to the kitchen and watching him make dinner for one.  
  


Adam remembered those words Lawrence said to him in that bathroom.  
  


_Don’t worry, I’ll bring someone back. I promise.  
  
_

He had spent so many days trapped in that bathroom in the dark without another living person. He thought he’d been lied to, and ended up ultimately dying alone, the last word leaving his chapped and broken lips being Lawrence’s name. He’d spent his last days thinking he didn’t keep his promise, and that he left to help himself only. When Adam died, he opened his eyes. At first, he thought he wasn’t actually dead and that he’d just passed out for a while. Something he noticed was that he could see through the darkness, he could see everything around him, and he thought the lights had been turned back on. When he looked down, he tried to move his arm, and saw a ghostly arm come out of his body. This made him jump, moving away and seeing his corpse sitting in front of him. He would’ve panicked, but didn’t. This didn’t surprise him anymore, he already knew he was going to die. Instead of fear, he felt anger. He got to his feet and yelled at the ceiling, soon turning in the direction where Lawrence’s rotting foot lay, running over to it and trying to grab it, his hands going right through it. He screamed at it, calling it a liar and a promise breaker. He yelled obscenities, trying to stomp on it but failing, his foot only went through it like his hands. He felt so angry he didn’t even notice when the door suddenly opened. He jumped as he heard a woman speak.  
  


“Adam Faulkner? Are you alright, sir?”  
  


Holy shit, it was the police. Adam jumped in front of them, he’d heard stories about people seeing ghosts, so he wanted to test it out. He waved his hands in the air, “I’m right here, lady! I’m pretty fucking dead as you can see, but I’m right here!”  
  


When the woman walked right through him, he froze as more cops entered and walked past him. Well, that proved his test wrong. Turning around, he saw the woman standing above his body. “Jesus Christ...he’s dead, no pulse or anything.”  
  


“No shit, woman!” Adam snapped, “And it’s all Lawrence’s fault—”  
  


The woman cut him off without knowing, “What’re we going to tell Dr. Gordon? He’s going to be upset when he hears his friend here is dead.”  
  


That’s when Adam’s eyes went wide. His eyes gazed down at his feet. He couldn’t believe it, Lawrence had actually brought someone back, or well, multiple people that is. He started to feel guilty for saying all those nasty things about the elder while being trapped in that room, and while being dead. He hated feeling guilty for things, and he hated it more when he heard a sob come from his throat.  
  


**✧**

Now that he was with Lawrence again, he didn’t want to leave him. Knowing he never lied to him nor broke his promise, he trusted him even more than before. However, he knew Lawrence felt guilty everyday now that he thought Adam most likely thought he lied to him and died thinking he lied to him. It made the younger feel sad. He didn’t want Lawrence to feel guilty, but he couldn’t exactly tell him that he didn’t think he was a liar. It hurt seeing him sulk and cry himself to sleep at night. Adam would always lay next to him and tell him there was nothing to cry about, and that he didn’t hate him or anything, even if Lawrence couldn’t hear him. He loved him as a friend, and only grew closer to him.  
  


Now that he sat at the end of the bed, watching him read, he moved himself forward. He sat down next to Lawrence, moving his face a bit closer to see what he was even reading. It was some Shakespeare book Adam didn’t recognize. He looked at the cover. Macbeth. Of course the doctor enjoyed Shakespeare’s work.  
  


“Shakespeare? I should’ve known you’d like that shit, you’re as old as him.” Adam joked to him, earning no reply as expected. He sighed, sliding down and snuggling up against his friend. He saw him shiver, and Lawrence put the book on his nightstand before getting further under the covers.  
  


“It’s so cold in here...but I don’t wanna get up and get a cardigan. I’ll just...go to bed now.”  
  


“Sounds like a good idea, old fart. Get your sleep, your ancient body needs it.”  
  


Soon enough, the doctor had fallen asleep. Adam liked watching him sleep, he looked so peaceful. He wished he could still sleep, but due to his current situation that wouldn’t exactly be happening ever again. He didn’t really miss it though, as long as he could protect him and Diana. Looking around, Adam slowly leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead. Lawrence shivered in his slumber, and it made Adam chuckle a bit. He found amusement in seeing Lawrence react to his freezing touch, hearing him talk to himself about how cold it was in the room and how he could never escape it. If only he knew it was actually Adam causing it.  
  


**✧**

Diana had come over once again, and Adam had been glad. Finally he could actually talk to someone again, even if she was a little girl and wouldn’t understand the things he would talk to her about. When he talked to her, he’d try to use as little swears as possible. When she came into the living room, Adam smiled wide at her and held his arms out for a hug. She ran towards him, happily saying his name as she wrapped her arms around him. He found it funny how she could make physical contact with him too, maybe she had some kind of power her parents weren’t aware of. She always told him he felt cold, which he knew already.  
  


“Adam! I haven’t seen you in so long! How’s Daddy been?” said Diana as Adam sat her down next to him.  
  


“He’s been good, I guess. The old fart does the same things everyday. He wakes up, gets ready, goes to work, comes home, makes dinner, and then goes to bed. Sometimes he’ll read or fall asleep watching the TV, one time he fell off and didn’t even wake up. Real heavy sleeper your old man is.”  
  


Diana laughed loudly, “Daddy’s funny, he was halfway off his bed when he was sleeping once. He fell off and hit his head on the floor!”  
  


“Sounds like something that would happen to him.”  
  


Suddenly, Diana looked up at him. “Do Mommy and Daddy hate each other?”  
  


He looked down at her, “What?”  
  


“Do they hate each other, Mommy and Daddy?”  
  


“Oh no, no. I’m sure they don’t.”  
  


“Then why did they get unmarried?”  
  


“You mean divor—” He looked at the TV, then back to her, “I-I don’t know, Diana. I think you should wait until you’re older, maybe your Daddy will tell you why. He is your Daddy after all, so he'd know more than me.”  
  


“Oh...okay.” the two looked over at the doorway as there was a knock on the wall. It was Lawrence, standing there with a concerned look on his face.  
  


“Diana? Sweetie, who are you talking to?” He asked.  
  


“I’m talking to Adam!”  
  


Lawrence quickly walked over to her, “Adam? Honey, are you sure it’s not just your imagination? There’s no one else here.”  
  


“No, he’s right here! See?” Diana poked Adam’s arm, “He’s here! I just touched him on the arm!”  
  


Lawrence’s face softened, sitting down on the other side. “How come you never told me you had an imaginary friend? I’m sure he’s a great friend, hopefully he doesn’t swear or anything. You know how bad swearing is.” Adam rolled his eyes at that, knowing Lawrence was referring to him.  
  


“He does swear, sometimes, he tries not to though. He thinks it’ll upset you and he doesn’t want to. He really likes you.” At that, Lawrence cleared his throat. He raised his prosthetic leg up, setting it on the table, laying his flesh leg right on top of it.   
  


Lawrence sighed, “How about you go to your room for now, Diana? Daddy’ll come and play Barbies with you, okay?”  
  


“Okay,” Diana got off the couch, saying bye to both men before leaving the room. Lawrence ran his hands down his face, calling Diana a silly girl under his breath before looking up at the ceiling. He wouldn’t lie, he hated how her imaginary friend’s name was Adam, it was as if God wanted him to feel guilty about being too late. Feeling his eyes grow wet, Lawrence quickly wiped them, only for more tears to pile up, eventually rolling down his face. He let out a shaky breath, and if Adam still had a heart, it’d be breaking right now. He hated seeing Lawrence cry, it made him want to cry.  
  


“Jesus fuck, please don’t cry, dude. I don’t give a fuck if you can’t hear me, just don’t cry!”  
  


He ran his hands down his face hearing Lawrence begin to let out sobs. It hurt, it hurt real bad. He wished there was something he could do, just _something_ to get the man to stop crying. Adam would show a sign he was there, but Lawrence would just think he’s going crazy. The younger leaned over, about to place a hand on the elder’s arm, until the blonde softly said Adam’s name through sobs, and said man straightened himself out, bringing his legs up to his chest.  
  


“I’m so fucking sorry, Adam,” sobbed Lawrence, “I shouldn’t have left you there to die, I took too long to tell them where you were, I should’ve done it sooner. N-Now you’re dead, i-it’s my fault you are.” his legs dropped to the floor, his elbows on his thighs, and his shaky hands against his reddened face.  
  


“Lawrence,” Adam scooted closer, “It’s not your fault. It’s not, and it never will be. Stop blaming yourself, please.”  
  


“I can’t stop thinking about that fucking bathroom we were in. I left you there, you were so young and had a long life ahead of you, and I fucked it all up...I’m s-sorry. I’m such a terrible person.”  
  


Adam grew frustrated, “Enough! Jesus, just stop it already! Stop blaming yourself, I’ve heard you say the same bullshit over and over again! When the fuck will you ever learn it wasn’t your fault? You had to go get help, it’s not like you left me there on purpose or some shit!” He closed his eyes, “You did the right thing, why can’t you fucking see that?! None of this was your fault, you fucking idiot! I’ve been watching you for so long, and from what I’ve seen, you’re such a good fucking guy! Goddamn, I hate complimenting people, but it’s the truth! I just wish you could hear me say it.”  
  


Upon opening his eyes, he noticed he was holding Lawrence’s hand up to his face. He must’ve involuntarily grabbed it during his rant, surprised Lawrence hadn’t pulled it away from him at all. He slowly looked up, seeing deep, glassy blue eyes stare into his own eyes. He quickly let go, scooting back a bit. When Lawrence started moving towards him, still staring at him, Adam sat still. A shaky hand came to his face, and Adam could feel the warmth from it. Adam leaned into it, placing his own over Lawrence’s. They said nothing, just stared at each other. Could Lawrence see him? Of course he could, what a stupid question. If he couldn’t see him, why would he have put his hand on his face? Adam jumped a bit once Lawrence suddenly wrapped his arms around the man, hugging him tight, sobbing into his hair. Adam’s eyes were blown wide with shock, and at last he hugged him back too, just as tight. It seemed this time that Lawrence didn’t care about how cold he felt.  
  


“L-Lawrence?” Adam broke the silence, “I’m not like seeing shit or anything, right? Are you actually hugging me?”  
  


“A-A-Adam…is that really you?”  
  


“Who do you think it is, old fart?” He sarcastically said. When Lawrence brought his face back up to Adam’s, he sobbed softly as he rested his forehead against his, just like in that bathroom. Both of the elder’s shaking hands came up to Adam’s face, Adam reciprocated the action. They stayed like that for several minutes until Lawrence finally spoke, starting to apologize over and over and going on a rant about how it was his fault until Adam shushed him.  
  


“Shut the fuck up, Larry.” He moved his forehead away from the other’s to leave a soft kiss on it, “I already told you, stop blaming yourself. Quit apologizing to me, please. I don’t hate you, not at all. You look like shit, man. Just shut up.” That’s exactly what he did, just shut up as Adam wiped his eyes.  
  


Adam smiled at him, “Stop crying, you’re alright. I could never hate someone so fucking caring like you. Even if those fucks got to me after I died, I’m still with you, aren’t I? I’ll never leave, I promise.”  
  


Lawrence was about to cry again, until Adam ultimately quieted him by placing a kiss on his lips. Once Adam pulled away, Lawrence sat there with wide eyes. “A-Adam—”  
  


“Shut your mouth, Doc. I love you a lot, y’know that? You make me feel alive again, you and that prehistoric yet intelligent brain of yours. All this time I was here with you, yet you couldn’t see me until now, only Diana. How did it happen? I don’t fucking know, but I don’t fucking care either. I’ve got you again, and that’s all I give a shit about. Just try not to leave me for days on end again, okay?”  
  


The doctor said nothing, giving him a kiss before hugging him tight once more. He dug his nose into his cold hair, whispering “If you do the same.”  
  


Adam nodded, digging his face into his warm neck. It was nice to have physical contact with Lawrence again.

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments are appreciated!
> 
> discord: milesupshurass#2999


End file.
